Journal - VII - Ein LiedI rant to much though, some people who read this might know what I'm talking about anyways...
Life is being diffifult for me at the moment. Some things are fine, even fantastic. But there have been so many different things weighing down on me.. On top of coming down with strep throat and having to deal with that over most of last week and the weekend, on top of having to go to school and worry about homework, on top of having relatives visit, my families monetary issues, having to work, and sleep once in a while too... On top of it all, I've been having some very deep issues with my family. My father, whose negative addictions ( what is a positive addiction? ) have caused us so many problems in the past, is decidedly continuing on with them. The sad thing is that my family no longer has the money to buy him what he wants, and every time we run entirely out of money for a time we are subjected to his most vehement loathing. Through his actions I've successfully come to the conclusion that he would gladly give up the house and our family for something to satisfy his craving. While he does this, he drags my mother down with him, she who is actually trying to fight the addictions and has (for a time) succeeded in the past.
I can't stand living with people like this. But, in a way, I'm trapped here. My parents cannot seperate because they are so dependant upon one another, and even if my mother and I were to leave, I couldn't bear to be seperated from my friends and the one I love. Along with that, I'd most likely have to get an actual, time consuming, job in order to help my mother and I survive.
But.. at least I'd be free from tyranny.
Oh well. Over the summer I'm doing my grade eleven mathematics. If I pass, that means I've successfully skipped ahead another grade in math and will be two years ahead of everyone else. If I was the arrogant time I'd most likely be pushing that in your face by now.... oh.. wait, have I done that? ....sorry. I still have to pass the course, and It's rather difficult. Four hours of math a day, three times the norm amount of homework and it's gotta be done in a single evening, due the next morning. Tests and quizzes pretty much everyday.
But.. for some odd reason, I'm finding the challenge quite entertaining. It gives me something other to focus my mind on than my angst, and something other to do than play on the computer.
My friends have been great, even though I've really only been talking to Becky and Chase, sometimes Tasha, rarely other people unless it seems like a fitting time to talk to them. Which isn't often.
(I want to go for more walks...)
Affection
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Come to the country, it's oh so green,
The fresh air strips your conscience clean,
And there is no scene, just scenery.
The fields will flood, bring your boots in case,
The streets are mud, but they're always safe.
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lol
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Jack of all trades, master of none...
... though offtimes better than master of one.
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(\_/) (\_/)
(0.o) (o.0)
'(__)''(__)'
+
=
(\_/) (\_/)(\_/) (\_/) (\_/) (\_/) (\_/) ......(\_/)
(0.o) (o.0)(0.o) (o.0)(0.o) (o.0) (0.o) ......(0.o)
'(__)''(__)''(__)''(__)''(__)''(__)''(__)'.....c('__)'
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From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
JRR Tolkien
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"Every time I turn around, I fall in love and find my heart face down, and where it lands is where it should."
-Nickelback
--
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
JRR Tolkien
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... düşünmeden öğrenmek faydasız,
öğrenmeden düşünmek tehlikeli ....
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